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To refresh your memory on Part 1 we started by writing down our goals to create drafts! This will transform the ideas in your head from dreams to goals, by putting them on paper. And then once we have a draft we begin by editing to get more specific and accurate because the devil is in the details
Now that we have created more clarity on what we want we are going to move on to one of the most important parts of actualizing your goals! In fact a strong argument could be made that this is more important than the goal itself. And it all lies behind one questions…
Why do you want the goal?
I know it probably seems simple enough right? So let’s give it a shot. You are now going to write down your goals in the following way:
I want _____ because _____ .
You should already have the first blank filled in; this is your goal. Now the second blank is the reason you want the goal. This is where things get tricky. If you have trouble coming up with a because statement it is likely one of two reasons. You don’t actually know what you want the goal, in which case we need to do some deep reflection. Or you don’t actually want the goal.
Let’s work through an all to common example I’ve had with clients before.
“I want to run a marathon because I want to be fit and lose weight.”
At first glance it seems like a clear goal with a strong “because” statement. For this example let’s call this person “Karen”. And the backstory on Karen is she is 40 years old, has two kids and all her “fit” friends are marathon runners.
The first step when I coach Karen is we need to get specific and accurate like step 1 of goal setting. What does she define as “Fit” and how much weight does she want to lose.
Upon further investigation we find out Karen wants to be able to hike with her kids without getting too winded, ski on the weekends all day and build some visible muscle. This is her definition of “fit”. She then discloses that she wants to lose 15 pounds.
Alright we are onto something here. Much more accuracy! Next I ask Karen what kind of training she likes, how much she wants to work out, etc. And the first thing she discloses is that she HATES running. Wait, WHAT?! Her goal is to run a marathon, but she despises this activity?
Well here’s the deal. As we dive deeper I find out that all of Karen’s friends who look good are marathon runners. So she thinks that’s what fit people do. Once I share with her that we can reach her goals without running she is not only relieved, but now she is excited to start working out!
This is an all too common lesson where lots of people create goals because they think it’s what they are supposed to do or because that’s what other people are doing.Had Karen stuck with this goal it’s likely she would have failed because it’s not something she actually wanted.
On the flip side if you have a strong “because” statement it will allow you to maintain forward progress. Whenever life gets tough, you face obstacles or you start losing motivation you can remember your “because” statement and it will help you get out of bed to keep working towards those goals.
Now spend some time writing out your goals with a “because” statement and get as specific and honest with yourself as possible!
If you want some detailed help, send me a message!
-Coach Taylor